I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
