Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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