you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
is it fun? or sober?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
