She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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