i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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