I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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