i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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