butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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