me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
