I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
