We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
