He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Randomize
