my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
