Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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