put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
