take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
