i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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