I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
