and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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