What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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