Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize