I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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