Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize