Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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