weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
