I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh god it's open bar.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
