Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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