here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
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I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
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I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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