I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
