You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
