I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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