I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
