We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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