It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
