I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
