she looked like the before picture.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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