You really coming over, don't trick.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
