i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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