Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...