She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.