we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it