I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
