I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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