I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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