you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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