I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
