Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
