theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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