and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
