"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
