I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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