..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
