Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
