Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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