the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
