It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
