...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
