K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
