Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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