How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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