I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize