Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I cut my penus on the lid.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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