dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
