She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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