I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My ATM looks so different sober.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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