i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
