just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize