I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
