I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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