I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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