At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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