I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
