he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
