he looks like a really good dad on facebook
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
