There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
