so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
